♥/when the chemistry is exothermic.

Moved!

2010-08-23T00:28:00.000-07:00

Hello boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen: I've moved again! (: haha! To a new webbie: www.watercolours.onsugar.com - as introduced by feli! Really fun over there; must try someday yup! HEE. And oh yesh, please add! ^^

Twist of events.

2010-08-02T07:11:00.000-07:00

Honestly, it never fails to surprise me whenever things which you thought you knew the way it is inside out and the outcomes are just within you fingers, something unexpected comes your way and disrupt all those beautiful calculations you had. Haha, I wonder if we should call that ironic or perhaps, a blessing in disguise. In whatever the case, when has we humans been able to fully manipulate and apprehend the ways things are laid out; we are just nothing but humans whom, sadly, accepts. Of course, saying all these is just my way of expressing the point that I'm totally unhappy with way things are; I mean we just sit here and accepts what life have thrown us, totally bind to the ground with our innovation and creativity being driven out of us. It is cruelly unfair. I hate to be sitting in school, unable to doing things I like, studying the subjects I fancy and taking profession in it. I hate being told what to do and what not; I dislike being given a perimeter to work in, given boundary in which limitations are almost everywhere. What's the point when you don't get to see endless horizons of possibilities? Why be bound to something that is imaginary? I'm certain and determined to make it out on my own, bringing along all those wonderful friends I've met with their hidden talents in them, it's staring right at my face almost all the time - what they are totally good at and their interests. Wished I could just setup a business corporation with all friends as their respective managers in their niche departments. HAHA, I know. Wishful thinking eh. But well, better than having none to think about. =P

Anyhow, I got a new water bottle from Ahming and Ferry as a birthday gift! THANKS GUYS! Truly sweet, and I loved the colour! (: okay, that's one hell load of rambling - time to knock off. P.S Looking forward to friday, meeting hf and xuan for coffee. Afterwhich, I have a week off till prelims! Shall pawn their asses. HEH. [Noticed all the grammatical error but my friends would've been smart to read it off so I'm not changing - plain lazy. HEE. nights my world! (:]

dude, distance fare's making me worst off.

2010-07-06T04:36:00.000-07:00

So, what kind of system is this?! Even if the government wants to increase their total revenue by this means, it's just way too cruel! I mean come on, we've just recovered from the recent recession that made us worst off, ever; since independence!

Hello, I'm an unhappy student here. I'm not working and yet, they're eating out of me; happily!

Daily trip to school: from my home to AMK Hub Interchange through (261) is $0.31

From Interchange to school's side gate (169): $0.52

From yishun interchange to my house (853) : $0.58

Total fare per day: $1.41 - (rebate in the morning; $0.10) = $1.31!

-----

Usual day fare w/o distance fare: $0.45 * 3 = $1.35

FINE, so I practically save a pathetic $0.04. BUT, if there's no rebate, that means I'm worst off by $0.06! _!_ Can you understand how I feel? I'm not literally blowing things outta proportion but this is way ridiculous. =.- I've a friend, who's usual bus trip is $0.45 and now it became a maximum of $0.70+! Like what the?!

G, nice going at reaping us to top up your revenue man. You'd better pay us a big fat lump sum of tax rebates when I'm 21. LOL. Anyway, what's wrong with the old system? Some old irresponsible peeps are not tapping their card according to their distance or what? SO you're implementing this to make us (nice peeps who abides) PAY?! DAMN, I'm really pissed. >_<'' RAH.

READ THIS; any comments?

2010-06-24T07:46:00.000-07:00

Robert Sternberg proposes a triangular theory of love. It is suggested that there are 3 components to love within a relationship.

(a) intimacy
feelings of closeness, connectedness, bondedness experienced in loving relationships

(b) passion
encompassing the drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, and sexual consummation

(c) commitment
encompassing, in the short term, the decision that one loves another, and in the long term, the commitment to maintain that love.

Empty Love - Commitment without Intimacy or passion
Friendship - Intimacy without passion or commitment
Infatuation - Passion without intimacy or commitment

Romantic Love - Intimacy and Passion, without Commitment
Companionate Love - Intimacy and Commitment, without Passion
Fatuous Love - Passion and commitment, without Intimacy

Consummate Love - Intimacy, Passion and Commitment

All I can say is, I found this somewhere on the net of someone's and it's so, erm. something new. HAHA.

HOME-ALONE day#3

2010-06-03T07:55:00.000-07:00

ah yesh. Apparently today's day number 3 being home, alone. This is way beyond any kind of sickness you would have thought of - I have never ever been so bored out of my brains for once in life, at least, that is during the JUNE HOLIDAYS. Nobody could ever understand how it felt, I never had, until now. What's queer is I'm actually ACTUALLY reading up on my subjects, but honestly, the process have been rather slow but hey, I'm trying right? My reading/scanning mechanism have been rusty, nearly beyond cure but no worries, ahmin is tuning her strings now, the skills will be hone to perfect in no time, she's sure. Anyway, something on the downside - I kinda hit the dump after monday and it kind of lasted till yesterday. Not sure what caused it, stress perhaps? But stress from where?! You people know me, my stress level is pretty low, (high tolerance level), besides, if there is, I would have known but I'm not! (ohmy) honestly considering checking it out with the school counsellor. haha! ahmin's gone nuts! whoops! I didn't want to bother anybody I knew about hitting the slumps but yy got it, undeniably, I crashed kind of hard on him but we got through. That's how he is to me, my crash absorber. shyt, how did this post ended up so long? Well, one thing's for sure - this week's mine. ALL of it - for myself to stuck at home, lazed around, curl up in my queen sized bed, reading up on stuffs here and there, use the comp, catch up on some drama (Personal Taste) and well, of course family and friends. Next week's holiday classes but I'm going to pack it in with enjoyment - filled with the girls. (who's free to meet me?)

Oh, you know. Don't know why but I feel like saying this now: I sincerely hope that we can remain as close as we were when we were younger, or perhaps, closer. The thing is, so what if time may pull us apart or reality shifts things a little? The changes do settles in within us unknowingly but honestly, deep down, those treasured moments, you just got to admit, those so perfect little moments, minutes that pasted when we'd get worried and cry for the other will never be gone. Instead, precisely because as we grow older, as the world gets especially more complicated and superficial, it is these moments that gets more prominent in our hearts and becomes a little piece of heaven for solace in our hearts when we reminisce the times. It is the trust we hold for the other in our hearts, we do not need much talking and you know it, the silence between us is what I call peace, no talking is needed, there wouldn't be any awkwardness, and you know it, it's comfortable just to enjoy both party's company. you will know what I mean even if it does not makes any sense to you now. This is dedicated to my girlfriends out there, bfriends, boyfriend, sister, closefriends, you know I am referring to you.

awww, gosh, somebody help me;

2010-05-31T08:13:00.000-07:00

I have a damn bloody frigging big urge to buy clothes and it's all due to that Sex and the city 2 movie we just caught with (emily & chelle). Fun and fabulous movie! And it lasted for a whole 2 hours! who can imagined that!? Anyhow, have to start saving money from now onwards, all my moolahs apparently swoosh down the drain from food. OMFG. =( Oh, and I have made a resolution to start getting a new piece of clothing every month; in an effort to revamp wardrobe. [AND you know what darlin said after I told him that plus just spent a new 50bucks from a pair of Converse!, He said wait till he get his pay and he'd buy them for me. awwwww. what can I say, so sweet~ hahaha. I told him, nah, that piece of clothing wouldn't felt mine. LOL. But I don't mind if it's a present from him. LALALA!~ *_* night world. this is way past my golden nooze. loves! (:

#1

2010-05-16T06:17:00.000-07:00

'It's amazing how you knock me off my feet, every time you come around me I get weak. Nobody ever made me feel this way, you kissed me and take my breath away.'

The head hurts. Drank, not drunk, but puked.

2010-05-07T20:59:00.000-07:00

For the record, Margarita is boo I tell you. The cherry flavor makes it taste like cough syrup which is so OMFG. =X

We went drinking with the same usual bunch but this time round, was absolutely firm on not taking Tigers but other stuffs. Barcardi Rum is nice, typical and light tasted; nice way to get started. So next ordered Tequila, very herby to me but the after effect was fantastically over the moon; was on cloud 9 and it's under rated, seriously. Makes me feel so warm and fuzzy but ahxian anymore and I would get drunk 'cause it's 50% alcohol. Anyway, last on the list is Margarita, which I've said earlier, like shyt. HAHA. It's joining my list of no-no with Bloody Mary. So, bye!

Everything has almost been out of sync for me lately. Okay, maybe I over stated a little but perhaps restricted to studies? Don't feel motivated at all, simply stops at finishing homework and couldn't cared less. How?

Oh ya, new furnitures are in. New bed, QUEEN SIZED, so damn fab, I'm loving every bit of it. New bookshelf, lovely and many more. My HOME LIFE couldn't get any better. And daddy says he will bring ahxian and me out drinking one of these days! (: grins.

Light up our world...

2010-03-26T05:17:00.000-07:00

I love the arts. Not much of a graphics person, but fine arts is my thing. Especially contemporary. Well, would I see myself being an artist many years down the road? Perhaps, I can pursue it with an interest and hobby in mind.

Anyway, truly glad that blocks are finally over! We all know the true obstacles and hardships are just about to begin but, it's tough my boy. I love my friends especially, those whom advice me with their opinions too. LOVE wingwing and yingying! (:

Express you feelings;

2010-03-20T22:57:00.000-07:00

Emotions have always been a stumbling block for most people to conquer and overcome. By its nature, it is from a delicate source within our hearts that has been around for centuries yet requires thousands of years to understand.

To get a head start and better understand ourselves, it's best we understand how to receive and transmit emotional signals properly. Be confident, expressing your feelings and ideas is the first way to cross over the miscommunication bridge and winning the hearts of people.

To me, expression is freedom. It doesn't matter through what platforms, art, painting, verbal, singing, lyrics, music, video, photographs, etc... whilst, letting your mind, heart and soul take control and viola! An art piece of your interpretation on things. Perhaps, if you don't mind, I would see that everything in life takes the form of art, of expression. That's what makes life rather interesting with an alluring aura, doesn't it? Be in peace yo.

Laughs How on Earth did I allowed him to...

2010-03-18T02:43:00.000-07:00

It's funny when you flipped through the album once in awhile, reminiscing the old times that doesn't seems to be so long ago for as long as you can remember.

I am amused on how did I ever allowed him to sleep on my bed. For the record when no ever guy did! Better still, he totally slept without thinking twice. Haha. It's really amusing, ain't it? We did never have known that it would have turned out this way. Monday 22 March is approaching and something deep inside me is stirring up with anticipation, something that makes me smile at myself. I love the world. ;)

AHMIN'S NEW FOUND FREEDOM/MOTIVATION!

2010-03-14T04:46:00.000-07:00

oh my gosh, holy smokes.

I'm truly glad we spent the whole day 'arguing' about all those stuffs, talking about anything under the sun and discussing our futures. Can I say that I'm sure that he has me in his future? He is in mine too. I was rather afraid of committing to anything, but he changed me. The burden, that befall on my shoulders when the results came out has finally been lifted. He changed the way of how I should have seen the world. That it wasn't much of my fault, to alleviate the guilt I suffered. It's a chain that has been tying me down since then, draining me mentally. Now I am free from this bondage of nothingness, from the invisible mountain piled up with imaginary problems, intertwined with panic and anxiousness. I thought falling into a deep hole would be inevitable but somehow, he showed me something. Finally, he lifted me up, bringing light into my tunnel. Thanks love. Chelle and ahxian helped me loads too, too great, for me to even think up of a proper way of gratitude. Hence, I would sincerely give them my words that, doing well and giving my best effort would be priority. Everyone, let's live this one life, to the fullest, with no regrets left unturned because we only got this one shot in life. [PSYCHOLOGY/ECONOMICS/BIOLOGY/INVESTMENT, HERE I COMEEEEE! ;D]

more than friends.

2010-03-07T00:06:00.000-08:00

I want to get drunk now. Bring me the alcohol please. Table full of them. BloodyMary's too cold of a Tom Yum soup for me. Screwdriver's not bad. But can I have a grasshoper please? and, yes. I love you.

What's your inner most desire?

2010-03-04T04:12:00.000-08:00

Dear Everyone,

'Could it have killed your heart, trying to escape out of the depths in your mind, all at the same time, that you are screaming for more? What is your inner most desire? The bitter sweet of all things, the beautiful poison ivy, dripping wet with the wonders if you ever get to taste it. Its cover, always alluring with warm memories of attaining. You feel tempted to just delicately unwrap the present laid in front of you. Can you resist it?

It's not the little things that I'm talking about, it's the once in the lifetime lures. The desire, to experience the world's most wonderful gifts. The forbidden apple that Eve ate. Could you feel your own desire, secretly, unconsciously, creeping out of your heart? A taste of the happiness, the sensuality, the something in your heart that craves for ... subjective towards individual's ideology of desires, and of course, what's mine, and what's yours? - E.

I have a Thousand and One things to say!

2010-02-25T02:20:00.000-08:00

So where should I start from? *_*/

Just the other day, ahying asked me something rather out of the ordinary I would say; trust me. It goes somewhere along that line: ' you know, who would you consult your problems to or talk about stuffs in school? Like you know, ruiming, sherman or xuanyi they all, other than yeeyew?'. And guess what, I am challenged by it. Well, of course the truth is, it would be feli. She's my secondary school friend and studies in YJ as well. We'd always go home after school together while going for dinners or grabbing bites and stuffs. Truly misses those times after a stressful day at school.

But the point is, why would I stumble and find myself pondering at the question? Thought really hard about it, also talked through it with ahxian and yeeyew and came to a conclusion: Something really huge inside me, perhaps my character or personality, especially the mindset and the way I view things has changed drastically since, the news of my retainment and since, my new junior One life started.

END of partONE *_*// [lazy to continue!~]

It's empty, a hole.

2010-02-18T06:58:00.000-08:00

There's a hole in my heart, I feel empty, a space that wasn't there supposedly, somewhere.

For a record, I was never told to get out of a class before, by a teacher, ever. Well, today's the first. Of course, if you know me. I was totally annoyed by it. Not that kind of girl to defy a teacher without a rational reason but, my back was aching from the bending, yet, he doesn't give me the chance to explain. So why? Why does your judgement gets clouded when up there in your brain, you ain't thinking straight? I would have least expected it since you kept your cool most of the time, yet, you lost it. Your rationality. It's absurd and I'm upset.

Honestly, hope I wouldn't be that way. Everyone deserves a chance to clarify.

Afterwards, everything deescalates down in a spiral. You could say I wasn't least in the best mood but wasn't foul at all. Merely, being non emotional at all, lost all ability to comment on anything. Just felt, numb, in someways.

It's vexing, irritating, troubling. More inclined towards insanity. To a point that everything moves so fast, it's hardly breathable at all and I'm gasping for air. Hope weekends do come by faster.

Is it partly because ww ain't around for comfort and I'm acting this way? Have my irrational feelings gone astray, worst than it can ever be? Have I grown used to your soothing coaxing? Things moved so slowly yet at times, it's so fast and this ain't making it better. I need, something. Someone to help fill up that hole. Somewhere where you could find it, mend it, hide it, protect it, treasure it from the harsh and cruel world out there. I need some wink.

P.S. come join me @ my school's carnival on the 27th FEB! Interested partied, please text me :D

Day #1.

2010-02-06T06:30:00.000-08:00

Damn it. Really contemplating on getting an iPhone or some sort. There's just so many things going in and out of my brain while commuting/out and about but uh, there's no way to get them on the net at that moment and it's pissing me off when those precious thoughts just somehow poof, and disappear. :/

It's day number 1 without ww and it's kind of upsetting. He's a master of adaptations and well, obviously I am not if you don't know me. Always had troubles getting used to changes, especially something that takes up a huge proportion in my life. Missed.

Took leave from school to send him off at Tekong. The place's nice, liked the scenery and environment. It's so refreshing. Glad that I went eventually, otherwise, regret might followed just like what my wonderful sis predicted.

This is something that we both need to cross over together in order to move on to a higher level, an affirmation in life. To think it over, to make sure that we are what we wanted. To make sure there is no regret to ponder for the rest of our lives, to live under the same roof, to shelter under an umbrella when either of us gets down, to enjoy life, fun as it is, from all sorts of way, together, even as we are together, to have unrestrained and uncontrolled doses of fun, as a single unified one. I know that we are fighting together as one but would I be able to fight it alone without you by my side? Okay, what am I writing? Things are just coming out of my head without any logic and reasoning, neither coherence.

Off to studying. P.S. fighting fighting oh!

LOVE, can you handle it?

2010-01-25T22:18:00.000-08:00

P.S Ooh, what a way to start a new post? haha. By the way, Huimin is blogging happily away in the school computer lab, obviously making use of GP time to write her own stuffs. Great! 'Huimin likes!' :D

Have you ever come across a true hard die relationship that you'd be sure that the other would be your lifetime mate? So when do you consider ENOUGH LOVE is ENOUGH? Or perhaps, being or giving LOVE is a luxury that quantifying it never seems to appear in your dictionary?

~~~

☻

2010-01-14T08:29:00.000-08:00

Greetings, an early morning to everyone. How was my prev post? Did anyone managed to actually read off the whole thing? Sure hoped it was impressive, even at the minimal. >_<

Well, school started nearly for a week now. Though I'm elated that it has since rotting at home, thinking about yeeyew and useless stuffs ain't going to help, yet somehow, it feels as though school has been on for over months now. WHY?!

Intending to pawn A Levels 2010, shall make it the first most impressive and rewarding national exam ever, second to the universities. So, let's ask what are the chances? Well, well, well... haha!

I've been having impulse to blog or rather write about anything that come across my mind lately. Really! Like what keeps us going, striving harder and risking the backlash from others, what makes successful a norm, why is opportunity and deliberateness so together and what have you not. It's as though I have taken an interest to write about stuffs! It's so, fun! OH, would I be able to improve my gp? Hope so.

Well, will be writing more I guess. More about feelings, passion, attraction and minds. Nways, it's getting late, eyelids are getting heavy. Shall bed now, nights world!

P.S. Just to take a moment for my bestie like forever, chelle: YOU ARE THE BEST EVER! THANKS FOR BEING THERE LIKE ALWAYS! ^_^

MY REFLECTION FOR OCIP @ CAMBODIA 2009! :DDDD

2010-01-04T07:51:00.000-08:00

1. What are your personal objectives for this trip and how did you hope to achieve this from the beginning?

I signed up for this trip with certain intentions in mind hoping to achieve. One of the main objectives is to let go of restrictions on general stuffs such as how we carry ourselves in terms of action, speech and attitude. As well as how we think while we are in Singapore and embrace the new experience whole heartedly. Well, definitely, the systems of how things work both here and Cambodia would be a vast difference and hence, to actually experience something new over there would require some sort of 'change' in mindsets. For me, I just started going to the library to read up on the culture of Cambodia. Another point is to try talking to someone close about how I felt about the trip. It's like you have to acknowledge that we don't intend to make this OCIP trip a vacation and hence, there are bound to be hardships and things that you would find it reluctant to do yet has to to shoulder on. So I thought a pre-trip personal talk would be essential. Secondly, I wanted to become more independent in terms of both physically and emotionally. I'm not exactly sure how I tried to prepare to achieve this but it does similar to the previous objectives such as talking to someone about it. Thirdly, is to learn something new from the trip. Well, I guess, to prepare for this objective is to actually be open-minded and be prepared to take criticism and well as acknowledge those times when you are wrong and take a step back, instead of stubbornly insist that you're right?

2. How did you prepare for this trip? Did you and the team do anything special?

In terms of culturally, we did research on what they have over there as well as what to expect; on their culture, behaviors, what to do and what not to, their history. Speaking of their history, I thought it was extremely sad. Though there are definitely the positive side of it just like there are two sides to a coin, somehow, I felt intensely sad, for them, their people, their history, their descendants. I mean, their lives has been scared by their history that their forefathers have written down and it would take decades for them to totally put the past behind and move on. Also, we did a pre-trip CIP for kids at an day care centre for the needy. Perhaps by doing so, it could help us prepare of what to expect though I somehow felt it wasn't very helpful since the situation here and over there was totally different which no one could have expected unless they had experienced it first hand at Cambodia.

3. Di you meet anyone special or hear any stories or gain any insights from the whole trip?

Yes. The people we met that left the most deep impression was those kids in UNACAS. They were special, they taught me that life isn't just about going after what you want but it's about living together, to love one another and simply, be happy. Well, initially, I was that kind of a person to strictly follow plans, and if there would be last minute changes, I would throw fits but somehow, after being there for some time, I realized that things were moving so fast back home that you don't have time to see what's happening but merely, going through each day as it is. It's like, a dead corpse doing repetitive work, day after day. Without realizing that we are not interested in what's happening to our friends, family anymore. To show care and concern for others, to take things slowly and think why are you doing this, doing that. To also truly find out who you are, what you want to do, what you want to achieve. And I thought by the time, people stopped and think, it would be too late because things would have been too complicated by then. Perhaps, it's not too late, but rather, just too complicated to understand things. Just like going for this OCIP trip, we are going there to help people in whatever way we can, but somehow it felt that without doing daily reflections, we would easily fall for the trap of 'doing just for the sake of it'. We have to understand the objectives behind the good deed we do. To find out more about others, about the meaning of our lives and ultimately, about ourselves. Isn't it?

4. Do you think that your presence is of any benefit to the beneficiaries?

Personally, I felt our presence was of some benefit to them. Though not much in the financial sector since it seems that they could sustain themselves just as well without our interference. Yet, we came in handy in terms of upgrading their language skills such as improving their English. It's important since it's the universal language and it may the tool to lift them out of the poverty circle, to lend them a hand towards a new life. Yet, there's a contradiction since they have the ability to sustain themselves, I'm sure they would have the capability to actually hire professionals for their lessons. Wait, on the other hand. Perhaps it would not be a good idea to hire since the kids should learn the way of life and experience to hard way so as not to take things for granted. Lastly, I somehow felt that it's the other way round when it comes to who's the beneficiaries since it seems that they are the ones to provide an opportunity for us to learn more about ourselves and attain independence.

5. Are there any improvements you think you can do?

Improvements for what? for whom? For me, perhaps I could have been more opened and embrace the new experience whole heartedly so as to thoroughly enjoy myself while learning.

6. Did you achieve your personal objectives at the end of the trip?

Of course!

7. Any other thoughts you might want to pen down?

Well, I just want to give credit to my two great teachers who took care of us over there, I'm sure it isn't easy. Also, not forgetting to mention the reflection that Mr Chong led was fabulous. Though at times it just doesn't seems appropriate since it has been a very tiring day. Still, if not for it. I don't think we would be able to discover it for ourselves. As I've said, without reflections, it would just be day after day of work, while working through it blindly. And ultimately, the trip would have been wasted. Also, I feel that the mentors shouldn't take things to hard that their students are having a hard time to see the big picture. Since every kid would have different level of maturity and mindsets, it would take different experiences to actually make them see. So perhaps, as mentors, should put in their 100% and hope for the best. Anyways, the trip was fruitful for me and I'm sure, for the others too. <333333

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010! :D

2010-01-01T01:44:00.000-08:00

WOAH. Yet again, it's another year. Thought of your resolutions yet? (But uh, like who'd stick to it man.)

It's ALEVEL year! =/ We can do it! I have absolute faith in us! FERRYMAULANA, ONGXUANYI, CHUALINYING, DARYLTAY, TRACYTANG, EMILY! GOGOGOGGO! We will definitely PAWN ALEVELS upside down I tell you. So you'd all better get your butts cracking! HAHA!

So, last night was a bang. Went to pubble for a drink and I tell you. The guys have all grown up. Oh wait, perhaps we all have and it's such nostalgia when you reminisce the old times. It's been almost 6years since we have been together. Yea, and you know what. We have all grown up, and able to talk sex in the face like nobody's business. HAHA! Not sure if that's suppose to be a good thing though. Have we lost our innocence in some sense? And you know what. Think I stood up too fast after drinking, that my whole vision blackout! Terrifying, 1st time. Thought I might have turned blind but yea, after awhile, vision came back and I sat stoning for a moment. Well, that's got to be my lesson takeaway: Don't move too fast after drinking. The blood needs time to get it moving. HAHA!

Okay, I'm tired. Slept for a mere 4 hours since 10am till 2pm. Nights! Happy NEW YEAR! x0x0.

What are we worth for?o

2009-12-14T08:28:00.000-08:00

What's the purpose of being together even if the feeling's there but we crave for something more? Or is it the underlying principle that we had missed while searching through useless heaps of thrash for rocks? Must the relationship be solely cast upon the basis of love towards the other and nothing else? What truly defines being together means?

Change is the only constant, so it would be wise if we keep up with it. Yet, it would be unwise if we leave others that we loved behind. It does sounds like a paradox. It seems that I've gained a slight push forward in my level of maturity from the experience in Cambodia. Humble pie as it is, I'm more than willing to accept it. The only thing I'm worried about is the people around me.

Must start cooking up a solution soon as such an issue should not be left hanging without dealing. Further complications would arise if left untouched. I must work hard and be more positive.

'Stitch! Look at me... =('

2009-11-26T22:37:00.000-08:00

Baby stitch ain't looking at me. He's sitting on my tray, staring in blank space...

Tomorrow's the day we are flying, it'd be plenty of fun. I know it. Must put in my best in being open for this trip. It's the first time, being so close to life, real life, yet so near to the edges of death. I'm quite afraid of one thing; the sorrow that feels its place, the blooded rich history which stains on its Cambodian flag, that sadness which shows slightly but nevertheless significantly on its people. You know me, I wouldn't be able to contain it all, eventually, breaking down and sob. After all, it's such supple yet intense emotions which gets through me, seeping into my blood, flowing in my heart and drain it. /We all wonder what the hell am I mumbling about.

WOW.

2009-11-17T05:59:00.000-08:00

It's just 12 more days till I fly to Cambodia! It's just next SUNDAY @ 4am! Totally unreal as it is. I'm getting excited :] grins.

Over & thereafter, life doesn't always go according to our desires...

2009-11-13T14:33:00.000-08:00

My Biology tutor said something similar yesterday and it got me thinking, again. It seems that I have lots of problem. For example, I 'hate' being compete at and you know I seldom use such strong words. Seriously, if I'm compete at, I would rather give up and let them have it, that's how I am. Not that right ain't it? It would take time, for me to workhard and start accepting, trying my best to not be like that. Another thing is my dislikeness to be with a lot of people. It's not that they are not to be trusted and share with, it's the process of getting together closer that's making me tired, and that's why I dislike it. I don't like pretense, idle talk and stuffs. You don't have to tell me it's wrong or too extreme, because I know! I'll just have to change myself there and tweak a little to suit the part. It all takes time, accepting and trying to be a newer person in that area, in that aspect. Now well, enough of my non-sensical rumblings because I guess most people wouldn't understand what I'm trying to convey. Haha, toodles!

reasonable?

2009-11-06T21:50:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you have to put walls around you; not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down just to be with you.

I just got this quote somewhere on fb, isn't it like testing somebody? Hmmm.

musings; sometimes, we all ain't what we think we are.

2009-11-04T15:02:00.000-08:00

This is a tough time. We all get stressed up by stuffs that meant so much to us yet doesn't work out smoothly. I mean seriously. Especially those who meant significantly to you yet disappoints. Being in such a position, I can finally comment that I understood how my friends felt, making note to my closest.

When people gets close to us, we all unknowingly places hopes and wishes for them. In hoping that they would not disappoint us on the fact that we creditted them so much. Yet, people somehow don't understand the rationale of doing so, particularly; the ones who had hopes placed on them. It's more than often, rather a load of burden that one has to shoulder. What can I say? I've been in those two positions before but somehow, couldn't make sense of it.

Admit it, love/i/you/we can be so unpredictable.

2009-10-30T08:06:00.000-07:00

Do you guys out there ever had moments where you'd wished your thoughts would just be uploaded automatically onto your online journals and stuffs? Perhaps that's what twitter's invented for eh? However, how would it work if there isn't any blackberry around? Ah, duh.

Well, I'm definately one of the many who had the fair share of those moments. And recently, these untimely moments had to come ever so often. 'Dude, I have to admit it that I'm pretty much your average girl with lotsa unpredictable moments accompanying. My mood changes like the wind but with reasons. I'm affected largely by the surroundings and sightings. Tell me something sad and obviously, I will too. Unfair you say? Hey, go on, judge and prove me wrong. Perhaps the notion of 'change is the only constant' is seeping slowly into my veins, depriving me of the oxygen, my brain is going dizzy, I can't seems to think rationally. Perhaps I am insecure, uncertain, not believing, not wanting to believe that it's all going to be alright. Yea right. Long great journey ahead we say, well, work hard.

We are wasting precious time @ school. Oh, come on.

2009-10-27T05:40:00.000-07:00

We seniors attend school for don't know what ****. I mean seriously, I rather spend the time @ home studying or doing something useful rather than plainly going to school for don't know what PE lessons. Though, contradicting it may seems, xuanyi, ferry, ahming, hidayat and we 3 girls had fun playing captain ball & badminton. I felt refreshed! And opps, I fell on my back while trying to 'steal' the ball. Hope nothing happens tomorrow, so let's just keep my fingers crossed!

Sometimes, it seems as though...

2009-10-24T03:35:00.000-07:00

we would never understand how the other feels deep down inside. Perhaps, it was too difficult for me to say that I'm afraid of stepping into a lanshop. Well, dont ask me why but we all have bad memories of things, dont you? Sighs, when will we ever get pass this barrier?

It's a load of heavy weights off my chest.

2009-10-16T18:43:00.000-07:00

WEEEE!~ Promotionals are finally over and it's non-stop playing till the end of the year! Ohmygosh, I'm so excited, I don't know what I should start with. Gee.

Anyway, have been sleeping since 6pm yesterday and I tell you, it's good. Totally refreshed. Let me list down the 101. things I'm going to do. Yea, maybe not 101. =.- opps. P.S (not in piority please.)

1. do up a chores lists with columns for signatures; toilets, dishes, clothes (dry/wet), floor (dry/wet).
2. Go down to ikea and check out my deluxe 2glass sliding door closet. =^.^=
3. Spring clean my room.
4. Spring clean the house.
5. Remind those ALEVELS STUDS TO STUDY and jio them OUT TO STUDY.
6. Do something about my language study. (i'm interested in latin. :x)
7. Brush up on my English.
8. Visit granny and grandma often. ( try to, once a week?)
9. Prepare FERRY 'TERMINAL's belated present and check out Phobia2's time slot BEFORE MONDAY(CANCELLED) cause he had the day booked!

So far so good. Shall keep that lovely list going on sometime soon. Love you guys! I miss my girlfriends. :/ jio them out on dates! >.<
BYE! :)!

I have chemistry..oh wait, it sucks too.

2009-10-15T12:56:00.000-07:00

Oh my, will you look at the time? It's 4am and I have a 3hrs chemistry paper at 8. This is totally absurd. I'm so damn afraid to sleep in case my little brain forgets everything I've studied. Secret: This is way too last minute. How can you start studying a whole year of Chemistry in just 1day!? Yea, true that I've studied a long time before and have been doing constant revision but still. Sighs. Poor time management. I bet dad's so not going to be elated when he know's about this. I promised! =( Sighs.

Sweetheart, we got another earhole for you.

2009-10-14T18:06:00.000-07:00

Woots! I feel empowered with the newly pierced earhole on my left ear. It's totally cool, well, at least I felt that way and perhaps yeeyew doesn't. Haha, too bad. =P He said it makes me look more like AhLian now. Groans.

Anyway, chelle and I got our studds on just by impulse! I mean we didn't actually got the idea 'cause we've talking about it since a long time ago. Hee. Now, people would kinda look at my ear twice when I walk down the street, woo~ I'm not attracting attention but please, let me play up with it for just a few weeks! :( It's fun to try something new once in a while. :] (gave a puppy face to him and I got away with it. HAH)

Tomorrow's the last paper for chemistry! Got to work hard! and I LOVE MY STUDDED EARRING! =P <3!

Fame was not bad...I guess.

2009-10-09T09:45:00.000-07:00

Wooo, unexpectantly, chelle and I sat through the entire Fame without falling asleep. The movie was rather messy and stuffs with all the cut scenes here and there but hey, credits to the storyline and fab music! *claps* We had the same sentiments of the groove the dance aftermath, it was like 'you just came out from a party yo!'

Enough said, I learnt two things from the show. One is 'you have to break the wall and accept your circumstances or you will never be happy.' Make some sense huh? Second's rather cliche but hey, it's quite easy to get lost in your brain, 'love yourself before loving others'.

Alrights! Shall start on economics essay of market structure! Toodles! <3

<3 ah gong, rest in peace.

2009-10-03T09:38:00.000-07:00

I miss grandfather. We all do. Go peacefully. We will take good care of grandma. (:

screw exams, but we got to mug hard & play hard.

2009-09-26T05:29:00.000-07:00

Took this photo with xuanyi early this year while researching on a project. I liked the smooth victorian building and the shades from the bar, seducing me for a drink. It's enticing isn't it?

Sorry for being kind of explicit but that's the truth of things. And honestly, I'm being anxious for the coming promotional exams which are roughly 2 weeks away. Dont get me wrong, it's not because of the preparations but rather, the 'trauma' from last year. Anyways, shall start on biology now. Toodles!

thus, the parasite-host relationship's in constant evolutionary flux.

2009-09-25T07:50:00.000-07:00

oppsie. just quoted that whole sentence out from campbell biology. i'm just too fascinated so you can't blame me. grins.

come on, someone got to tell me if is it me, but why has schoolwork started to pile up recently like nobody's business? i'm coping it real bad, probably 'cause too used to easy life?

anyways, it's sad. contrary to popular belief that weekends are left to our own entertainment, there's econs & bio tutorials tmr. i need a break, like urgently. there's 2 more weeks till promos and the anxiety's piling up head and draining my thinking power. this just goes to show that i'm not good enough. ah wells. there's work to do. :x

so yea, i'm going back to blogger again.

2009-09-21T06:44:00.000-07:00

After someone told me that blogging can improve my standard of English, I'm going back to it for the sake of gp. I mean like, you got to try whatever there is when you are desperate right?

Okays, that's enough of rumbling for one day. Ohh, and I need to trim my hair! :(