Just the other day, ahying asked me something rather out of the ordinary I would say; trust me. It goes somewhere along that line: ' you know, who would you consult your problems to or talk about stuffs in school? Like you know, ruiming, sherman or xuanyi they all, other than yeeyew?'. And guess what, I am challenged by it. Well, of course the truth is, it would be feli. She's my secondary school friend and studies in YJ as well. We'd always go home after school together while going for dinners or grabbing bites and stuffs. Truly misses those times after a stressful day at school.

But the point is, why would I stumble and find myself pondering at the question? Thought really hard about it, also talked through it with ahxian and yeeyew and came to a conclusion: Something really huge inside me, perhaps my character or personality, especially the mindset and the way I view things has changed drastically since, the news of my retainment and since, my new junior One life started.

END of partONE *_*// [lazy to continue!~]

For a record, I was never told to get out of a class before, by a teacher, ever. Well, today's the first. Of course, if you know me. I was totally annoyed by it. Not that kind of girl to defy a teacher without a rational reason but, my back was aching from the bending, yet, he doesn't give me the chance to explain. So why? Why does your judgement gets clouded when up there in your brain, you ain't thinking straight? I would have least expected it since you kept your cool most of the time, yet, you lost it. Your rationality. It's absurd and I'm upset.

Honestly, hope I wouldn't be that way. Everyone deserves a chance to clarify.

Afterwards, everything deescalates down in a spiral. You could say I wasn't least in the best mood but wasn't foul at all. Merely, being non emotional at all, lost all ability to comment on anything. Just felt, numb, in someways.

It's vexing, irritating, troubling. More inclined towards insanity. To a point that everything moves so fast, it's hardly breathable at all and I'm gasping for air. Hope weekends do come by faster.

Is it partly because ww ain't around for comfort and I'm acting this way? Have my irrational feelings gone astray, worst than it can ever be? Have I grown used to your soothing coaxing? Things moved so slowly yet at times, it's so fast and this ain't making it better. I need, something. Someone to help fill up that hole. Somewhere where you could find it, mend it, hide it, protect it, treasure it from the harsh and cruel world out there. I need some wink.

P.S. come join me @ my school's carnival on the 27th FEB! Interested partied, please text me :D

It's day number 1 without ww and it's kind of upsetting. He's a master of adaptations and well, obviously I am not if you don't know me. Always had troubles getting used to changes, especially something that takes up a huge proportion in my life. Missed.

Took leave from school to send him off at Tekong. The place's nice, liked the scenery and environment. It's so refreshing. Glad that I went eventually, otherwise, regret might followed just like what my wonderful sis predicted.

This is something that we both need to cross over together in order to move on to a higher level, an affirmation in life. To think it over, to make sure that we are what we wanted. To make sure there is no regret to ponder for the rest of our lives, to live under the same roof, to shelter under an umbrella when either of us gets down, to enjoy life, fun as it is, from all sorts of way, together, even as we are together, to have unrestrained and uncontrolled doses of fun, as a single unified one. I know that we are fighting together as one but would I be able to fight it alone without you by my side? Okay, what am I writing? Things are just coming out of my head without any logic and reasoning, neither coherence.

Off to studying. P.S. fighting fighting oh!